Student Speaker Series: Abby Martin '24 on Epilepsy

1/19/2024

by Abby Martin '24

Abby Martin '24 shares shares her story about living with epilepsy.

Hello everyone! My name is Abby Martin, and I am a senior at Ensworth. Today, I want to bring awareness to a neurological disorder that you're probably somewhat familiar with: epilepsy. Epilepsy is a disorder characterized by recurrent episodes of sensory disturbance in the brain, also known as seizures. An easy way to visualize seizure activity is by imagining an electrical storm in the brain.

Seizures look different on everyone. They can appear as convulsions, muscle twitches, or staring episodes. Now, I could stand here and break down all of the different facets of epilepsy, but I don't just want you to leave with a seizure fact sheet. Instead, I'd rather you leave here understanding the importance and the impact of an epilepsy diagnosis on an individual and the community around them. To do that, I will start by telling you my epilepsy story.

MY STORY

About a week before the start of my sophomore year, I was living my life completely normally. I was trying to savor the last few days of summer break, survive the August heat, and cram in my summer reading. The day that I had my first seizure, one minute, I was sitting on my closet floor sifting through old clothes, and the next, I was being questioned by paramedics. It was so terrifying not knowing what had happened to me.

When they told me that I had a seizure, I didn't know what that implied. As I sat in the hospital, I kept trying to process what happened to me. The doctors reassured me that this was very common. According to the World Health Organization, 10% of people will have one seizure in their lives.

Immediately, I had drastic lifestyle changes. I had to begin a strict medication regimen, get amazing sleep every night, and change my diet. In addition, I became hesitant about going out with my friends and being away from home. I was very nervous that I would have another seizure in an unfamiliar place, which would be frightening and, what mattered more, embarrassing. Through this new reality, I stayed strong.

However, my condition began to feel more real when I suffered a second seizure six months later. With this episode, my anxiety around seizures grew. I began to constantly worry about when the next one would occur. I fell into a period of self-doubt and self-hatred surrounding my epilepsy. I was angry at myself for having seizures, and I was angry at the effects it had on my life. I resented myself for something I couldn't control. It reached a point where I had difficulty enjoying happy times in my life because my thoughts were infiltrated with seizure anxiety.

I also started noticing changes in my memory and attention span, which impacted my school life. By the time a third seizure came around, I had watched as people I loved began to treat me differently, like I was made of glass. People began only to see me through the lens of my diagnosis. I let epilepsy define me, and I let it hold me back from opportunities. About halfway through my junior year, I was not doing well. I had little to no friends, I was highly anxious, and I really didn't feel like myself anymore.

One day, I was having a conversation with a friend about driving. She had recently gotten her driver's license and her first car, and because of my epilepsy, I had not been able to do the same. She wasn't aware of my diagnosis, so whenever she asked me about driving, I would lie to her. I told her that I got my permit super late, couldn't find an appointment, or just kept putting it off.

The truth was that I was embarrassed. I didn't want to tell anyone that I had epilepsy and couldn't drive. I felt childish and ashamed of myself. During this specific conversation, however, I decided to tell her the truth, and her response changed my entire mindset. She simply shrugged it off, promised always to give me a ride, and moved right along with our conversation.

This may not seem like much, but my friend's sheer acceptance of my condition sparked the realization that epilepsy didn't need to control my life. I connected with people who really supported me, began to see a therapist, and slowly, I started to feel like myself again. Learning how to take care of myself has helped with my mental and physical health, and as of now, I have been seizure-free for over a year, and I also finally got my driver's license.

My story with epilepsy is far from over. I will still worry and struggle and go through difficult times with it, but I have learned how to find support and support myself. To sum this up, I'm going to show you something. Here is my life BEFORE epilepsy… and here is my life AFTER epilepsy. I've learned not to let my diagnosis define me or control my life, and that's the most valuable lesson I've ever learned.

WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW

I'm going to give you three good reasons why you should leave here caring about epilepsy.

Seizures and epilepsy are extremely common. Other than me, there is a very large possibility that you know someone with epilepsy.

Seizures can be dangerous. The most common injuries associated with seizures are burns, fractures, and soft tissue injuries. People with epilepsy and seizure disorders face danger when they swim due to being 15-19 times more likely to drown than average people. They also face danger when they drive, so I couldn't get my driver's license for a while after turning 16.

As I covered in my story, epilepsy impacts mental health. People with epilepsy are much more likely to be diagnosed with depression, OCD, and anxiety. Seizures also have notable effects on memory and attention span, which are changes I have noticed in myself. This is especially important if you know someone with epilepsy because they will sometimes need some extra support.

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